common sense

Most people don't realize exactly what they have until it's gone. Why is it that you can mistreat someone or an situation and when it comes to an end or the person leaves you, you want to get yourself together or wish you did things differently. You should always try to do things right the first time so that you don't have to be put in that predicament. Not everyone around you cares about you and not everyone around you  will take the chance to understand and know who you truly are. So if there's someone who understand why you tend to do the things you do and they love your biggest fault, don't put them on the back burner just because you figure that they will always be there...because they could possibly leave you and never look back. Someone told me "If you can't be with the one you love, then love the one you're with"...which is incorrect because if you originally showed the one you love that you're here for them, then you would be with the one you love& won't have to struggle to love the one you're with.

helpless

i've always had trouble when it came to asking for certain things or expressing myself. I'm so use to people asking me for help to the point where i'm just now learning how to. Right now i'm at the point where everything is pilling up,i just need a major break because there's nothing that i can really do right now...i don't want to talk about it because i'm so use to having the solution to everything, but the sad thing is i can answer everyone's problems except my own. There are plenty things that i try my best to understand by sitting back and observing the situation, but this time after i observed things i felt helpless...maybe there isn't anything i can really do...maybe i have to just let things take their position on it's own.

2 hours

sometimes there are things on your chest that you have trouble expressing or a build of anger that you can't explain. around the time were people wouldn't really understand where you're coming from or if you get so angry that you can't control the tears then maybe you need to step away from the situation and take a break from the stress that keeps coming your way.sometimes it's hard for me to realize when i'm being overloaded because i have this addiction of helping and worrying about others.what most don't understand is that my request is more simple than it seems.i'm not asking for an whole day or a whole weekend, but just 2 hours to spend with my father.is it so bad to not want to feel like a stranger to your own parent? i'm not sure, but maybe my mind will clear itself up after i get away...sometimes people make situations way bigger than they are & maybe people would consider me that person, but oh well maybe i am...maybe i'm not...it wouldn't matter to me as long as i got my 2 hours.

College is around the corner and i can't help, but to feel really nervous. It's like the 3 years in high school flew by and now this year i will be a senior. In realization i know that not all my friendships will last past high school and that's just life. But going to college is beyond the friendships, it's starting complete independence. It's about going to get an higher education and finding a career that is best suited for you. I'm not rushing my senior year because i got a lot of "lasts" ahead of me, but i am anxious to start that college life because i have a lot of "firsts" before me.

Independence

   Most of the people i know are given things on a silver spoon. They rather refer to mommy's money or daddy's money to live off, and look at me funny when i prefer to stand on my own two feet. I may not be able to handle all of my finances at age 17, but i handle most of them or meet my parents half way.
   Why run back to my parents when i have the ability to maintain independence? I don't want to have to depend on my parents when i go off to college, yes they're here for support mentally, but i don't feel comfortable always expecting them to do something that i can easily try to do myself.
    It's not a bash against those who need the help from their parents, it's just an urge for independence in my generation. I see people driving around in high luxury cars and don't have the gas money to fill up the tank. While I'm working hard for what i love to call mines, they just put their hands out and ask for money with only the labor of putting their hand out. When you use your parents money you have major limits on what you are spending it on rather than the freedom of holding your own. So boss up and make your own money and still get a little help at the same time because then you can learn how to be independent and learn how to start relying more on yourself.
    Like my grandmother always says " why by a $200 purse if you don't even have $50 to put in it?"

If not love, then what?

     I know a guy who dated this girl for the longest time. No matter the lies or bull thrown his way, he stuck by her side. One day she called him her world, the next day he was replaced with some girl, then next with some guy. The cycle was repetitive and all a while the guy still could not allow her to leave. He would always be in a relationship and if the girl wanted him back, the girl he was with would be dropped like a hot iron skillet. He claimed he could not let up on what they had because he believed deep inside she loved him. But last time i checked love didn't bring continuous pain. Yes there are obstacles, but when you truly want something you fight for it. 

     Most adults believe young adults don't even know what love is and believe we base it off the perception of what the television spins our way. The truth is love is something you feel and it causes you to go blind to the faults of the person which turn the person's faults into their best quality. Sometimes there are situations where feelings are one sided and before you declare your love, you should open your eyes and see the matter with true sight. Just because you may have a true understanding on what the four letter word means doesn't mean the one you choose to love can return the feeling because if it's not love then it's possibly just lust.