Safari

I went into the leadership camp thinking it was going to suck. I didn't really know anyone so i was surrounded by 1,600 unfamiliar faces. Turns out it was way better than expected. I made a handful of friends and made atleast 3 close friends that i can see myself keeping a friendship with in the long run. Although i didn't go into Safari with an open mind and kind heart, i came out with a softer side of me. Turns out it's easier to make good friends than i thought. Safari also taught me allot about making decisions, being fair, and even consideration of others which will help me when it comes to sharing a room with 3 other girls and choosing between studying and partying. It was a wonderful experience and i wouldn't change going for the world.

It's Life..keep it moving

i loved once and can never denied the fact that i did because everyone close to me knew i did. While i was "loving", i found myself out if character, i was more sympathetic, able to apologize, able to forgive, and alot of other weird things that were out of the norm. In the same light that i loved was the same light that i was hurt. & it was funny because you couldn't tell me anything about him; through all the things people told me and the things i witnessed myself, i still saw nothing, but good in him& honestly i still do. It's just the fact that he doesn't see it in himself& because he doesn't, he'll continue to treat people the way he treats them. They're more like claire's accessories rather than Helzburg diamonds. & i didn't see that until now. If you can claim to love someone, but continue to play the same game and hurt them on a regular basis without any remorse then you either don't know what love is, a persons' worth, or both. I can never say i hate him for the things he's done to me up to the 5th year nor can i ever say i don't love him. It's just the fact that i can say that i will never put myself in that same position with him to get crushed again.I know and understand that no one is perfect because i am far from perfect myself, but how can i allow myself to be in the same circle as someone who doesn't care about people beyond themselves? It's not even healthy for me to be him friend because i feel that i tried, but a person is always going to do what they damn well please no matter what they lead you to believe. Yes i am still upset with him and more because it hurts when you think so highly of someone and they prove you wrong especially since life is nothing more than a game to them. Intellectually i'm moving up a level and cannot afford to allow myself another set back trying to better someone who will and plans to remain on the same level. I do wish him well and hope that he finds the love he is looking for& as cold hearted as it may seem, his existence is fading away along with my love for him, but that's life. Maybe one day he'll understand peoples' worth and i hope it doesn't take a worst case scenario to do so.& Maybe just maybe one day we might have friendship exist between each other, but that's too far to even think about.

Respect..Demand It

It's funny how people can choose to hurt you intentionally and get a rise out of it. You can love someone dearly and give them your all& sometimes that never matters because they already have it set in their heart where they want you to be and whether or not they'd hurt you. In all reality, the key is to never give a person more than a second chance because anything after that exceeds their amount of chances. Giving them way more than they deserve will give them the idea that it's okay to keep up bad habits. People will only continue to do to you what you allow them to. If you allow them to disrespect you it'll continue as long as you allow. Respect is something you always want to have in the atmosphere and yes it is a mutual thing. Demand it, but at the same time give it. If someone doesn't respect you or treat you with the respect you deserve then they don't need to be in their life. Although they might not respect you, you don't have to disrespect them because that causes a bad habit and leaves no room for you to grow as a person.