Mistakes

They're solely called mistakes because you learn from them. I've made mistakes in my past that i can not and will not be proud of, but atleast i have learned from them. I always find it interesting when someone who makes the same mistakes has difficulty forgiving those who happens to make a mistake probably every once in a lifetime. Why is it so difficult for someone to be forgiven, but hard for the person to issue forgiveness? Right now i'm struggling in my relationship with my #1. We've been through it all from the lies, the multiple girls, to bullshit, and to pain, but through it all i saw the bigger picture which was growth. No matter what i've always found myself forgiving him of the pain he sends my way, but now the tables have turned. He made the decision that he wanted to be single because he does not feel he is ready for a relationship. I can respect that decision because you don't need to be in a situation that you aren't ready for, but i feel he wanted to have his cake and eat it too. Basically try to keep me close enough to have an eye on me, but far enough to be single. Bottom line he found out i was seeing a friend and flipped and has not talked to me since. Oddly i found myself begging for forgiveness, then i had to sit back and correct myself. He chose to keep me single not me, and i find myself forgiving him several times no matter what,but i cannot get the same treatment in return? I decided if i can fight for our relationship for years and he can't then why try to keep it going? Today makes day 4 that i haven't heard back from him& the first day i haven't called and left a message for him. I mean i found myself stressing and i'm only 18. I guess i'll leave it be and continue with me and when he's ready to talk maybe i'll still be interested in doing so. Difference in my slip up and his is that i made one and apologized immediately and he made several and chose to wait. I guess when you make one mistake it's simply a mistake, but when you make a mistake a few times it turns into a choice.